WEEKS 29-32 (Month 7)

Baby’s energy is surging, thanks to the formation of white fat deposits beneath the skin. (Have those kicks and jabs to the ribs tipped you off yet?) Baby is also settling into sleep and waking cycles, though -- as you’ve also probably noticed -- they don’t necessarily coincide with your own. Also this month, all five senses are finally functional, and the brain and nervous system are going through major developments.

I cannot believe how far along I am...this seems to be going by so fast and I am not sure that I am ready for 3 kids but I know I don't have a choice...
most days I am really excited to see him and hold him and love him but somedays I am ready to kill the two I have and wonder what am I going to do with 3...
I also have those times of worry when both Odin and Cort want me to hold them and love them and I wonder how am I going to be able to do this when I have a new baby that needs me...I am such a worry wart and I am constantly worring about having enough love for all 3 of my kids and my husband and everyone else and having time to clean the house and feed the boys and do the laundry and dishes and sleep and when most people worry about this they can at least be reassured that at the end of the day their husband will be home to help them and give them a break but I don't get that piece of mind...the only help I get is over the phone when he tells me it will be fine and he loves me and that I can do anything...
I know as the time clicks closer to this baby coming it is also clicking closer to the time he has to leave over seas and I hate that thought...I am always just putting on a smile and telling everyone I am fine and then I go home and lay in bed and cry...I know what I married into but sometimes it just sucks to have to give him up for the safety and freedom of others...and I hate it when he tells me he is having a hard time because I just want to fix it all and take everything away and make everyone happy and I know it is impossible...
I do know that we will make it through this all I just have to vent somedays...I worry a lot about the boys and them asking where their daddy is and how I will have to explain that he is far away keeping us safe from bad people and when they cry for their daddy how I will have to handle that moment...Again sorry to vent like this I am usually one of those people who hate to complain because I know there are a lot of people out there worse off then me and I could always have it worse off too...so I will stop now for a minute...

This little man in me is for sure moving around A LOT!!!! and yes I did find out it is a boy...as you may remember I don't like to know what I am having but Chuck as to know and this time he decided to play around with people and tell them different stuff but when he sold his truck to this family he told them we were having another boy and when I got home and was talking to the wife she told me and when they left I said to Chuck "So we are having another boy huh?" and his face went white and he said "I didn't think you would talk to her" so I knew he wasn't lying...I have thought boy all along but there was always that chance of it maybe being a girl...it is ok I am happy with my boys now we just have to agree on a name for sure and hope that he comes out looking like that name will fit...I must say that I enjoy NOT knowing a lot more then knowing...I hate knowing what I am having but to late now...the surprise now will just have to be what he looks like...will he look like his brothers or his own little man?